waka storm/hokule'a

MOTAT

Yesterday the year 4's went to Motat on old school bus,to learn about exciting inventions. Eventually I got a chance to explore the mirror maze. When I strolled through the pump house I got a piece of black coal. In the village prison cell there was a very very very freaky man, he looked dead and he was staring at me. The earthquake cafe.

Criteria for an Effective Paragraph	Par 1	Par 2	Par 3	Par 4	Par 5
⚈ Start with a topic sentence.	yes
⚈ Have at least 2-3 connected sentences.	no
⚈ Have sentences that are effective that have varied beginnings	yes
b.  have juicy vocab e.g action/describing  words	yes
(c) grammatically correct	yes
(d) punctuated correctly.	yes
(Think of 1 or 2 things that you need to to focus on next time, to make sure your paragraphs are effective.)
Next time I  need to ….

All about me

cookie fase