Monday, 23 March 2015


Yesterday the year 4's went to Motat on old school bus,to learn about exciting inventions. Eventually I got a chance to explore the mirror maze. When I strolled through the pump house I got a piece of black coal. In the village prison cell there was a very very very freaky man, he looked dead and he was staring at me. The earthquake cafe.

Criteria for an Effective Paragraph
Par 1
Par 2
Par 3
Par 4
Par 5
⚈ Start with a topic sentence.

⚈ Have at least 2-3 connected sentences.

⚈ Have sentences that are effective that
  1. have varied beginnings

    b.  have juicy vocab e.g action/describing  words

    (c) grammatically correct

  (d) punctuated correctly.

(Think of 1 or 2 things that you need to to focus on next time, to make sure your paragraphs are effective.)
Next time I  need to ….

1 comment:

  1. Well done Justice. I like how you have included lots of interesting, juicy vocabulary and beginnings.
    Remember in your reflection to include something you need to focus on for your next piece of writing.
    If you look at your reflection you will notice that the main thing missing is having 2-3 connected sentences for each paragraph. You have got all of your ideas in 1 paragraph. So perhaps your focus should be having paragraphs about 1 main ideas, with 2 - 3 connected sentences in each.
    But good work though.