marble run

Marshmallows

On a cloudy night the lake was gently lapping against the bank. In a small clearing in a wood a small boy called Jimmy was roasting marshmallows. A monster swam with stealth up out of the lake and crept up behind Jimmy. Jimmy turned around and saw the monster! It had shiny yellow eyes and green scales.

 Trying to defend himself Jimmy held out his marshmallow on a stick. Instantly the monster transformed into acting like a dog. He shot out his tongue and gobbled up the first marshmallow! The monster stood on his tail and did a ballet twirl and rolled over to get the second marshmallow. Jimmy pulled the third and last marshmallow out of the bag and the monster ate it out of his hand.

”Oh no” Jimmy thought as he cautiously held out his hand with the last marshmallow out in it. The monster ate the last marshmallow, slurping it out of Jimmy’s hand. The crocodile like monster waited expectedly for another marshmallow and then it realized that there was no more. The monster reverted back into a vicious man eating monster! Jimmy instantly turned and ran but stumbled and fell. Crawling towards his tent and Jimmy grabbed a pillow. He used it like a shield. Happily the monster grinned. Jimmy threw the pillow away then ran away. The monster tried to roast the pillow then it incinerated.

PICNIC

I was disappointed because the picnic was cancelled.My bag was to hevy and Idedent laice it.

DAWN PARADE

In the pitch black before dawn broke at the Auckland museum  thousands of people came together for the dawn parade. Crowds gathered as the sun rose in the morning. With respect every one stood silently as a man played The Last Post on the bugle. At the end every one went home to the sound of bagpipes.

ANZAC

World War 1 Movies

In turkey

What happened there was a war.

ANZAC Movies

    

In the story, think about what the little girl means when she says, “He marches for all his friends who cannot march.  He marches for us.”?

It means he marches for the people who died in the war.

waka storm/hokule'a

MOTAT

Yesterday the year 4's went to Motat on old school bus,to learn about exciting inventions. Eventually I got a chance to explore the mirror maze. When I strolled through the pump house I got a piece of black coal. In the village prison cell there was a very very very freaky man, he looked dead and he was staring at me. The earthquake cafe.

Criteria for an Effective Paragraph	Par 1	Par 2	Par 3	Par 4	Par 5
⚈ Start with a topic sentence.	yes
⚈ Have at least 2-3 connected sentences.	no
⚈ Have sentences that are effective that have varied beginnings	yes
b.  have juicy vocab e.g action/describing  words	yes
(c) grammatically correct	yes
(d) punctuated correctly.	yes
(Think of 1 or 2 things that you need to to focus on next time, to make sure your paragraphs are effective.)
Next time I  need to ….